I have found that I can sometimes change reality by pushing – and then there are times like this where I have to change instead.
I recently ordered a batch of newly designed business cards. The cards showed up as promised, but my excitement quickly turned to disappointment when I found that I received all-black cards. The image that I had carefully chosen, massaged and uploaded was missing. I called the company and spoke to one of their sales reps. She listened, empathized and rebuilt the design in their system, taking all of my requests into consideration (even adding my new website on the back, which I wasn’t ready to do when I first ordered them). I felt taken care of. In a few days and I would get my new cards – I was excited.
The replacement cards didn’t arrive as promised. When I checked online, the order status read cancelled…no email letting me know something went wrong, just cancelled. WTF! When reality doesn’t match how I think it should be, I learned at an early age to push harder to make it happen, a pattern I am trying to disrupt. Now firmly in that pattern, I was frustrated and angry, and no longer in flow – in fact, I was pushing against it. I called and reached another sales rep who told me that they printed all black again, so the order was cancelled by the supervisor. She said she would rebuild the card again with her supervisor approving the build, and this time they would expedite the order.
Last night (the expected delivery date), the company’s system showed the status of the order as merely “Entered”, not as “Shipped”. When I called this morning, I was told that the cards had printed properly and they would be shipped to arrive on Monday (the next business day). This time, UPS got into the mix and they didn’t get delivered until Tuesday (though they were indeed shipped for delivery next business day). When I finally got the cards, I found that they had a typo on them – something which didn’t show up on the proofs I had gotten before I placed the order.
I have known for some time that I am good at manifesting…. particularly in business areas. So maybe I am manifesting this unconsciously. So, this time it’s personal! (As if it is ever not personal.) I have been wondering “What is my part in this and what am I meant to learn?” I did a lot of energetic clearing through various practices and through this, I stopped trying to make something happen. I was able to call up the printer and explain the problem without the underlying belief that they were inept. A few days later, my replacement business cards finally arrived looking exactly like I thought they should. My lesson and ongoing work is to always wonder what my part might be in things where feel like a struggle, regardless of how clear it is to me in that moment that someone else is doing something wrong. I am in awe at the fact that in this situation it appeared like everything that was happening was outside of me – the printer, UPS – and that I was at effect of their actions. However, when I cleared my energy around the situation, everything moved back into flow.